


Pink Wig

by chapperschap



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Character Death, F/M, Less Than 100 Words of Smut, POV Female Character, Season/Series 04 Spoilers, Sex, Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan Manga Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-19
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:27:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27624040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chapperschap/pseuds/chapperschap
Summary: Eren meets a woman with bright pink hair in Marley.
Relationships: Eren Yeager/Reader, Season 4 Eren/Reader
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61





	1. PINK WIG

**Author's Note:**

> AOT MANGA/SEASON 4 SPOILERS.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren meets a woman with bright pink hair, F/n L/n. Sadly, it turned out to be a wig.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS MAJOR MANGA/SEASON 4 SPOILERS.

I couldn't bear to hear the ignorant man speak about how we, the subject of Ymir, were the devils living on Paradis. Standing up from the chair I had taken next to Mikasa, I exited the room, with no intention to speak to my fellow comrades until later when I would send them a letter.

After exiting the courthouse, I fixed the irritating tuxedo and decided that the first thing I would do was begin formulating a plan to come into contact with Zeke.

However, the protests from within my stomach postponed that plan and I realized that a hot plate of food wouldn't hurt. Walking through the streets of the internment city, I stared at all the people that would soon die to the rumbling. Glancing at a child licking a rainbow lollipop while in his mother's arms, I felt my heart being tugged at. The more I observed the area, the more families I saw, unknown the horrid future they were going to face because of me.

I paused once I saw a woman who had bright colored hair, it seemed to be almost fake. Did a race exist where you were born with bright pink hair or did she somehow dye it with some type of pigment? After a shove from a child running past me, I realized that I was frozen in the middle of the street where people were hurrying to get past me. Throwing the idea of getting a meal to the side, I followed the bright pink haired lady to wherever she was going.

Was there truly a race with such a magnificent color of hair? Did Armin know about it? I'm sure he would've told me about it if he did...

Suddenly, the woman stopped, her rather plain-looking dress coming to an abrupt pause. I stumbled into her backside. She quickly turned around and I froze.

"Sorry about that!" She bent over to pick an object I didn't recognize off the ground. Before she was able to turn around, my arm reached out before I could stop it and she froze.

"Excuse me, but is your hair natural?"

The woman blushed a bit before fiddling with a strand of the hair I had questioned her about. "Oh, this? It's just a wig actually." She smiled again, this time with a blush on her face.

"A wig..."

"Yeah, you know, like fake hair?" She then ripped off the hair from her scalp and displayed the "wig" for me. "I just got off my shift and I usually take it off when I get home 'cuz it's a pain to carry it around."

"Ah... I see. Thank you."

"No problem!" Instead of turning around and continuing on her way, she continued to stare at me with an expression on her face that I could quite describe. Was she... curious about something? "I mean—like I know we just met because you were curious about my hair, but you're kind of my type."

"Your type?" I pondered about what she meant for a second. Her "type"...

"Yeah, like tall handsome men with cool long hair. Usually, men in the internment don't grow out their hair—they don't want to face another thing to get shamed for."

Now connecting the dots, I realized what she was saying. This woman—I didn't even know her name— was interested in me romantically. I chuckled to myself a bit and she sweatdropped. I am quite frankly going to destroy most of humanity and she is asking me on a date. She doesn't even know who I am. The only woman I've ever thought of romantically was Mikasa or Historia, but I've known them for years. Do people seriously just pick people off the streets because of their looks? I guess they don't have to worry about titans stomping on them and killing everybody they love, so maybe they are more carefree.

Fuck... I seriously sound like an old man.

"I mean, if you see me as a crazy girl or something, it's fine! My ma has been bugging me for a while to get a boyfriend, so that's partly the reason but..."

As she continued to ramble on, I remembered my conversation with Mikasa last night.

_Staring out at the former thief who had tried to pickpocket one of us, I realized that this was the perfect moment to ask Mikasa the question that had been bugging me since my teenage years; when I first controlled the titans on the field, where I was sure I was about to die to the same titan that had killed my own mother._

_"Mikasa, why is it that you care so much about me?" I glanced at her confused face and sighed. "Is it because I saved you when you were a kid or is it because I'm family?"_

_I stared into her eyes which usually looked so dead but somehow so alluring, searching for some clue that could lead me to an answer. Maybe... just maybe if she told me she loved me, I'd cancel my plans for the rumbling to spend the rest of my days bearing children with her on the Island of Paradis. That would probably be the most selfish decision I would ever make, as hundreds and thousands of subjects of Ymir would perish in the future due to the Marleyan's plan to raid Paradis, but I don't care. Why did I have to fucking hold the powers of the founding titan and decide the future of humanity? Why was I born in the enclosed walls, believing that nobody else existed outside of them? Why couldn't I have been born as a normal child, become a normal father, and died a normal death? Why was I even here? Because I was born. That's why I am. Because I was born, I am special—not because I have titan powers and was about to raid the entire planet—but simply because I was born._

_"Huh?" I glanced down at the sweat forming on her forehead._

_"What... am I to you?"_

_"Y-You're family."_

"Are you well?" The woman asked, snapping her fingers in front of my face to get a reaction.

"Sorry, what were you saying? Never mind, just... what's your name?"

"It's F/n L/n."

"My name is... Eren Kruger."

"Nice to meet you! Anyways, if you're up for it, want to join me for lunch?"

I glanced down at the hand she had grasped and bit my lip for a second, wondering if this was a good idea. I was hungry and... did I even have their type of currency? I think I left it with my comrades. I'll have to get some from Zeke later.

"I'll pay for you if you need it! Although that suit does look pretty pricy!"

"Let's go eat then."

—

"I'll have..." I glanced at the man in front of me who stared at the diner menu in front of him. I rested my cheek in my hand and sighed dreamily while unintentionally staring at him. He was seriously one of the most beautiful men I had ever seen. Not even those Marleyans could even compare. "Pancakes?" Eren told the waitress who quirked an eyebrow at his order.

"Pancakes at this time?" I glanced at the wristwatch that had been a gift from my father and chuckled. "I guess you enjoy breakfast at all times of the day."

"Food is food." Eren shrugged and continued, "where I used to live we would just get brick-hard bread and cold soup."

I cringed at his description of the meals. After taking a sip of my water, I realized that he could've been trying to become a warrior... which wouldn't be too great, but I honestly think everybody had that dream at some point as an Eldian. "Were you trying to become a warrior?"

Eren shook his head. "No, it was more like a training camp I did in my free time."

"Really? What did you train for?"

"That's not important," he abruptly stated. He rubbed his short beard (could I even call it a beard?) and continued, "Anyways, you said that you wore a wig for your job. What do you do?"

I glanced at the pink wig that was sat at the edge of the diner table. "I am a dancer." I blushed a bit because of my words and decided to add a bit more detail. "Not like that, but I'm a dancer for festivals in the mainland. I mostly went into it so I'd have an excuse to leave this shitty internment zone."

"Is life really so bad here?"

"I mean, haven't you been living here? I guess it's not as bad as the people living on the island of Paradi— I mean... "curse those devils"." I winked at him and he stared blankly at me and my sad excuse of a joke. "So yeah, life on the mainland is much better than here. Most of the stores actually have air conditioning—it's this new invention that allows air from outside to come in but like cold and filtered. I'm pretty sure that's how it works."

"You... don't believe the inhabitants of the Island of Paradis are devils?" Eren asked in a hushed tone, glancing around as if he was searching for somebody.

"I mean... not really? I personally don't like getting into that subject of Ymir stuff, but that shit happened hundreds of years ago. It's terrible that they're living in a constant state of fear because of the titans."

Eren who had a small smile on his face, let out what seemed to be a sad sigh. "Too bad those devils will probably take revenge..." he muttered. I quirked my eyebrows at the statement but shrugged it off.

After we finished eating, we stood outside the diner. Eren seemed oddly interested in the people passing by... maybe he's an observant person? "Could I have your address then?"

Eren shot me a look that sent chills down my spine. "And why would you need that?" His tone was harsh and I felt my hands begin to dampen.

"I-I just wanted to send you some letters in the future. Maybe we could meet up again?" Eren's harsh look disappeared and it returned to his normal, emotionless look. A sigh of relief escaped my lips and my smile formed once again, hoping that he wouldn't reject me.

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I see... I can't give you it." My smile fell and he quickly noticed.

"Okay." Unsure of how to continue the conversation, I kicked the street softly, something my mother would be quick to yell at me for. Don't ruin your shoes! I can almost predict exactly what she'd say. "It was nice meeting you, then."

The man nodded and I walked away with my shoulders feeling heavy. With the wig in my hand, I truly felt like a clown. That was until I felt a large hand grab my shoulder.

"If you tell me where you work, I can visit sometime."

—

Somehow, I ended up hanging out with Eren a lot more than I would've expected. Although he usually just made me run around with him while he sent letters and bought unusual items, it was all enjoyable, because I was spending time with him.

We were both hanging out at my place and I checked the calendar hung up on my cardboard board. "Hey, Eren. It's been a month since we've met!" I pointed at my calendar and he glanced at it.

"How do you know?"

"See where that red 'x' is? That's the day where they actually gave me my wig since a performance was coming up and that's the day you came up to me."

"Did you mark it because an attractive man walked up to you or because you got the wig?" I blushed slightly at his sentence and glared at him.

"It was because I got the starring role in the dance, so neither, actually." Eren gave me his usual, unexpressive look, but I could tell that deep down somewhere he was smirking like a 15-year-old boy.

I leaned back on my pillows and Eren moved from the wooden chair on the corner of my room to the foot of my bed. We had been to my place countless times, but he always sat anywhere except my bed.

I furrowed my eyebrows at his unusual behavior and instead of him looking somewhere random, he was staring straight at me. "Eren?"

He crawled up the foot of my bed with the most emotion-rich face I had ever seen since he first bumped into me. Grabbing my knee, I could feel his rough hand move from the kneecap to my inner thigh. Slowly, he spread both of my legs apart. I clutched his hand to stop him and stared at him with a confused, but beet-red face. "W-What are you doing?" Eren picked up his gaze from the hem of my skirt to my eyes.

"I don't feel like dying a virgin... and you probably don't either. So let me help both of us out."

—

"I'll have chocolate." I glanced at Eren and waited for him to choose which icecream he preferred.

"Mint chocolate chip," he said. Now facing in my direction, he sent me a small smile. "I've never tried that flavor before."

"You haven't tried a lot of things, Eren." He nodded and his smile turned into a chuckle.

Grabbing the chocolate ice cream from the man, I handed him some coins before going to sit on a bench nearby. Eren followed me, already having eaten one-fourth of the ice cream as he sat down. "You should smile more." Eren glanced at me with a confused face. "You look more alive. Staring at that dry face you have all the time gets a bit old."

"The same face that you thought was handsome when you first met me?" Eren grinned at me and I rolled my eyes. I playfully elbowed him and he flinched, but quickly elbowed me back.

"Well, yes. You sort of have that look that says you could kill anybody at any time," I joked, leaning back to grab a spoonful of the ice cream. "Obviously, that's not true, but you get what I mean. Right, Eren?" I moved closer to him to face him, but instead of meeting his eyes, he was staring off into the ocean. "Eren?"

He glanced towards me with an uncomfortable look on his face. "What did you say? I wasn't listening."

"Nothing, never mind. Is the ocean seducing you or something?"

Eren sighed and continued to stare out into the distance. "Do you know what lies further than what we're seeing?"

I furrowed my eyebrows at the sudden change in mood. "Well, more saltwater, right?"

"Further than that."

I rubbed my chin in thought. "Oh, the Island of Paradis, right?"

Eren nodded and dropped his gaze to the empty cup he was holding that only contained melted mint chocolate chip ice cream. "How would you feel if you were born on that island? Constantly in fear for your life because of the titans, not even knowing that there was an outside world."

I cocked my head. "I didn't even know that they didn't know the outside world existed. Guess you paid better attention than me in history class... though I'm not sure they went that much in-depth." Eren clenched his fist and stood up to toss his cup and spoon in the trash.

For some reason, we didn't talk much for the rest of the night.

—

"Eren, please slow down." Those words, which were barely audible managed to escape my mouth. I was struggling for air as he thrust his hips into my mouth. I could feel the head of his cock hit the back of my throat repeatedly and tears pricked my eyes. Eren clutched my hair tighter and continued his fast pace. I was on the verge of passing out until he let out a tiny groan, which meant he was almost done. At that point, tears were flowing down my eyes, but he didn't seem to care.

Finally, he released inside of my mouth without warning and pulled out. I coughed and struggled for air, spitting the fluid out from my mouth. Eren sighed and seemed to finally realize the condition I was in. "Are you okay?" He kneeled next to me and used his hand to lift my head so I would face him. Noticing my watery eyes, he rubbed the salty tears off my cheek with his thumb and gave me a small smile.

"I'm sorry. I've been a bit... stressed out." I coughed again, and he sat down next to me to pat my back.

"Please warn me beforehand if you're ever stressed out in the future," I managed to get out. Eren pulled me into his chest and let out a deep breath. While he played with my hair, I shut my eyes and leaned against him.

"I love you."

That was the last thing I heard before I fell asleep.

—

"Hey, did you hear about the festival we're having? It's funny, 'cuz it's actually in the internment zone this time." Eren glanced at me with a cautious look on his face while he licked a letter closed.

"I wouldn't go to it if I were you."

"I mean, I kind of have to. It's my job."

Eren placed his hands on my shoulders and stared at me straight in the eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows at his weird behavior but waited for him to speak. "Listen, for the next couple of weeks I have to do an important mission for my job. I won't be able to contact you, but just do one thing for me. Don't go to that festival... or the port. Actually, try to find a job for a festival outside of the internment area."

"Eren... what are you saying? I'm confused—how long will the mission be? And why are you acting so serious all of a sudden? Plus there won't be any festivals in the—"

"Just don't!" He rose his voice and it immediately silenced me. Eren let out a shaky sigh and I twiddled my thumbs nervously. "Sorry... but just trust me, okay?"

"Okay..."

—

I stared at the children running around in colorful clothing with delicious treats that you'd usually only find on the mainland in their hands. I was obeying Eren's orders, I wasn't going to go to the festival. I was just passing by! I swooped past the groups of people laughing with each other and the elders smiling softly at one another. A small smile made its way to my face as I realized nobody here was having a bad time like we usually did. As it became more and more crowded, I realized that a voice became louder the further I walked. I bumped into a blonde man and a child, but quickly shrugged it off and continued on my way.

"That was the beginning of the great titan war," the man said, though I couldn't specify who. I groaned, of course, they were going to talk about Eldians and Marleyans during a festival. Passing the civilians by quicker than before, the voice became easier to understand. "We have sent a total of thirty-two survey ships to the island these last four years. Every one of them has vanished."

Ships vanishing in Paradis? How could that many ships have vanished? I heard that they had stolen the power of the founding titan... but surely one titan couldn't be that powerful, right? To take out a total of thirty-two ships...

Finally, I had made it towards the main area of the festival. Military personnel was sat in front of a stage, watching the man who was speaking intently.

"The threat that Paradis poses to us is the threat of an earthshaking attack by these colossus titans. As I explained earlier, only those of royal blood can use the power of the founding titan..." As the man's speech continued, I stood there wondering if I should be on my way. Eren did say to avoid this place.

"By Eren Jäger, who posses the founding titan." The name Eren made my head snap upwards towards the man speaking to the crowd. That's... just a coincidence, right? Sure, Eren was an uncommon name in Marley, but that doesn't mean it's impossible for two men to have the same first name. Besides, they had different last names. I chuckled to myself and shook my head.

Glancing at my wristwatch, I checked the time. I had only been here for around ten minutes, I'm sure a few more wouldn't hurt. After that, I'll just head back home and get some sleep. Should I prepare a gift for Eren once he gets back? He told me liked a type of meat that had cheese on it but that he only ever tried it once. Where he was from it was super rare to eat meat. Where was Eren from again? I don't think he ever specified.

"As an ambassador for the Marley government, I, Willy Tybur wish for world peace!" The man, William Tybur began raising his voice, catching my attention once again.

On second thought, if this guy starts yelling I'm just going to head out of here now.

"And so I proclaim on this day..."

I pushed myself off the wall I had been resting on.

"to the enemy forces on Paradis..."

Was the name for the food he liked a cheeseburger?

"This is a declaration of war!"

No, I think it was a chee-burger. Yes, that's it!

Smiling to myself, I was oblivious to the sound of a building getting smashed to bits.


	2. EREN JÄGER

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You realize who Eren truly is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS MAJOR SEASON 4/MANGA SPOILERS

I was paralyzed. Is this what it feels like to be frozen due to fear? Two titans, the war hammer, one that has been praised by the Marleyan's ever since it was brought to their side and another—one which I didn't recognize—were battling where once hundreds of people stood. I glanced at the crushed body that was a few centimeters away from my foot and gagged.

I need to get out. But if I move, flying debris might crush me to bits. But if I stay, flying debris might crush me to bits. I continued to stare at the two titans fighting each other. The human-looking one had just blocked a hit from the war hammer titan. However, the humans' head had just been decapitated. I gagged again after seeing the titan-sized head fall on the floor, crushing civilians running away. Tears began flowing down my eyes as I realized that I was truly going to die here. I hadn't even had a real conversation with my mother in days, my brother is sitting in his room—probably playing with his toys—unaware that my last moments are spent thinking of him.

...Where was Eren? He was on a mission somewhere. At least he was safe.

I heard the booming voice of the war hammer titan. "Eren Jäger," it began. That name... that fucking name haunted me. Why did that devil hold the same name as my boyfriend? "In your final moments, do you have any last words?" Please, please kill that thing. That thing killed countless people. Civilians that had been shit on their whole lives, that were finally able to enjoy a day off but were met with the arms of death.

Suddenly, the war hammer titan's neck exploded and I shrieked. It seemed to set off a switch in me and I stood up, the only words flowing through my mind repeated over and over.

_Get the fuck out._

As I began running in the opposite direction of those titans, I heard the sound of metallic wires extending. I glanced up and saw people in black uniforms... almost dancing in the air? Some type of steam escaped the machinery they were wearing and they flew across the rooftops. With my eyes becoming blurry due to my tears, I stumbled over something heavy. I rubbed my eyes and saw the lifeless body of a child below me.

I screamed and crawled off of it.

_God save us, please._

I pulled myself off the ground and continued to run.

_Run, run, run. Can't live if you don't run._

Those words repeated in my mind like a broken record.

I ran past dead women, dead teenagers, dead children that were holding toys in their hands, dead fathers that were wearing their best clothing, dead soon to be mothers.

_**God save us, please.** _

I glanced behind me, and right as I saw the invading titan crack a clear looking rock that held a human in it, I wish I hadn't. Blood splattered everywhere, mostly in the enemy's mouth and I forced myself to look ahead. I passed an old woman who was sitting on the ground, muttering a phrase over and over. I saw a father holding his baby girl in his arms with tears streaming down his face as he ran past me.

I was consumed with the fear of death until something huge caught my attention. 

Is... Is that what you call a blimp? It was a large floating object in the sky, almost like an oval balloon that was lying down. It was my first time seeing one, but somehow I recognized it. I remember reading the newspaper about this new invention, but because I was an Eldian, I was not allowed to enjoy seeing it take off for the first time. 

Were people escaping on the blimp? Did the Marleyan military bring it out here so that civilians could flee? I searched for the nearest building's fire escape stairwell. After finding one, I ran to it and I hurriedly climbed up it in an animal-like year way, using my hands to help pull me up the stairs. Finally, at the rooftop, I waved my hands, desperately trying to grasp the attention of the people escaping to the blimp. I heard the sound of the zip lines behind me and saw a woman carrying a man in all white clothing.

"Please!" I screamed out to the woman. "Please save me!" The man stared down at me with wide eyes.

"Mikasa, grab her."

—

"So what you're saying is that you're the titan that killed those people out there?"

He was unrecognizable. Actually, he held the same face he wore when I first met him. The emotionless look that somehow pulled me to him. But over time, his smiles became more frequent. His eyes, when I hung out with him, often held a glint of kindness. Now, he had a sad—almost pitiful look drawn on.

I was looking at a man with blood on his hands.

Perhaps his hands have always been stained, I was just too blind to notice.

"Yes—but," Eren clutched my hand and I flinched. He let go of my hand after seeing the fearful look in my eye. "F/n... the Marleyans killed my people. They stormed into my home and smashed my neighbor's houses, my comrades that I slept in the same room with betrayed me, some of the most important people in my life almost died and did die because of the scum on this land. You are also an Eldian, shouldn't you out of all people understand?" Eren kneed next to me and I scooted backward.

"Eren, please tell me you're lying. How could you possibly kill all those innocent civilians out there?" He stared at me with a stern look before running his fingers through his hair. “They didn’t do anything wrong, just caught in the crossfire!”

"It needed to be done." 

I pushed myself off the ground, using the wall nearby to help support me. "Please, let me go. I need to get back to my family."

"F/n, if they were at that festival—" Eren grabbed my hand and I ripped it out of his grasp.

"Don't touch me!" Those words escaped my mouth more fearful and louder than I expected. I smacked my hand over my mouth, unsure as to why I regretted them. Was I scared of the possibility that he could kill me or did I feel bad for being scared of him in the first place?

Eren narrowed his eyes at me. "Do you see me as a monster now? Because I took revenge on the people that deserved it? I thought you would understand, but it seems I was wrong."

"This whole situation is wrong, Eren! How can you not see? You murdered hundreds of people that shared the same blood as you!"

"So?" His voice was booming by now. He stood up and faced the rest of the people inside the blimp. "The warriors came into my home first, caused the death of my own mother, and can't take a little revenge? That is nothing to the hundred years the Subject of Ymir had to face. Besides, this is just the first step." Eren was laughing at this point and my eyes went wide. He truly doesn't realize what he's done. He's blinded by the urge to avenge his people.

"This is not the Eren I know."

Eren sighed and stared at me, unimpressed. "You met Eren Kruger. A man who dealt with your ignorant ways during every date. A man who needed somebody to send letters to his brother. A man who wanted to fuck before he killed the world, then himself."

The tears finally broke free and were pouring down my face. "Eren," a woman behind me began speaking. "Did you use this woman?"

"I had to!" Eren lifted his arms up defensively, but it was obvious that he didn't need to defend himself. No matter how he answered, nobody would've said anything to help me.

"You're fucking sick." An older man rubbed his eyes and glanced at me with a tired face.

Eren sighed and faced somebody behind me. "Armin, bring her back." He walked back towards a bench in the corner and sat down as if he hadn’t just murdered hundreds of innocent people.

...Was this going to be the last time I saw him?

The shorter blonde man motioned for me to grab on to him. He opened a hatch that revealed the streets of the internment city. 

I took one final look at Eren, who was staring at me with the same, emotionless face he always wore.

—

I ran to my bathroom in a hurry, the urge to throw upcoming from deep within my stomach to my throat. I flipped the toilet seat up and let the contents of whatever I ate for dinner last night spill into the toilet. I slammed the toilet seat down a leaned against my bathroom wall. Ripping some toilet paper from the roll, I used it to dab my face of anything that might have been smeared on my chin. Laying back against the cool tile wall to catch my breath, a haunting thought came to mind.

No... no way. He used protection. They advertised condoms to be 100% effective. I slammed my palm against the wall and choked on a sob that dared to escape my mouth.

Wiping the tears that threatened to spill for what seemed like the hundredth time in twenty four hours, I pulled myself off the ground. The disgusting taste in my mouth forced me to brush my teeth. After doing just that, I wiped my mouth with a towel and exited my bathroom to get dressed.

Opening the door to the corner pharmacy store, I immediately walked to the aisle that sold contraception. My eyes found the bright pink package and I snatched it off the shelf. Hurrying to the counter, the old woman shakily wrote down the transaction onto her paper. I handed her a couple of coins and she thanked me. "Is there a bathroom I could use?"

The woman nodded sweetly. "Back there to the right. Good luck."

I smiled and nodded before making my way towards the restroom. I opened the women's door and locked it behind me.

Taking a deep breath, I sat on the toilet seat and ripped the package open. I read the directions and did as it told me.

After urinating, I cleaned myself up and waited for the results. I placed the stick on the counter and washed my hands.

I shut my eyes and prayed that it would be negative. I cannot be pregnant with his child. Yes, we did have sex often, but he always used a condom. Condoms that were supposed to be 100% effective. I'm too young to have a baby, I can barely support myself as it is! 

I glanced at the test.

Two subtle pinks lines were now present.

—

"You're telling me you had sex with a man you only knew for a couple of months?" My mother slapped my face and I clutched my cheek. "And now you're pregnant and he is nowhere to be found?" She was screaming while my brother laid on the couch, unbothered and oblivious. "We can barely afford to live here together, just the three of us and now you're bringing a baby into this household with no father." Tears were now pooling her eyes and I whispered, lips trembling.

"I'm sorry, mama. Please... he left due to unfortunate circumstances—he didn't leave because he knew I was pregnant."

"Do you think I care? The fact is, is that you're pregnant with no husband, not even a boyfriend! Your job can barely afford to cover your ass," she yelled. My mother sat down shakily and rubbed her temple. "I knew letting that man into our house was a bad idea. He radiated death and despair." She let out a sigh and leaned back onto the couch. "I can't afford to take care of another baby—not with your brother around. You need to find somewhere else to live."

"Mama!" I stood up in protest. How could she kick me out? I was barely 19! "Please, I'll take care of it. Just let me find a good job and everything will be fine!"

My mother glared at me. With my brother now on her lap, she bounced her leg up and down to entertain him. "You can't find a job when you're knocked up. This is hard for me too. I never would've imagined things would've ended up like this." She combed my brother's short, thin hair behind his ear. "That's what happens when you give birth to a girl. Always up to no good. At least I was fortunate enough to get a son."

He was always her favorite anyways.


	3. THE RUMBLING

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTAINS MAJOR SEASON 4/MANGA SPOILERS

"F/n!" I was shaken awake by my roommate, Lissandra who I was currently sharing a room with. We agreed to split the rent and I was able to stay, as easy as that. "You need to wake up." I sat up on my bed, half asleep and confused as to why she sounded so scared. Her dark hands were shaking as she stared at me. "I... I don't even know how to explain it, but I dreamt of a man telling me that the walls that protect the Island of Paradis from the outside world are going to collapse. Hundreds of titans will begin flattening the world!" Tears were streaming down her face and I furrowed my eyebrows.

"But you said it was a dream... Why are you crying if it was just a nightmare?" I grabbed her hand comfortingly and she let out a shaky breath.

"Because everybody else had the exact same dream. It must be a message! It was a message from a man!"

My heart dropped. I clutched her hand tighter. "What was his name?"

"I think... I think it was Eren Jäger."

—

I placed the glass cup down on my nightstand. Letting a sigh escape my mouth, I shut the book and leaned back into my pillows. A nap, a nap is what I need. I can sleep all of my thoughts away. My thoughts about Eren, my baby, the thoughts about what Lissandra had told me this morning.

The moonlight poured through my window and I took the chance to just cherish the fact that I was born into this world. Everything that led up to this day was all for a purpose, right? Even if I was impregnated by a man who killed fellow civilians, even if I was pregnant with a baby I didn't want. Even if my mother had kicked me out only a day ago. Luckily, Lissandra saved my ass. I guess it doesn’t matter though, right? She said we would all be killed by huge titans, so in the end, everything is pointless.

I noticed the water in the glass cup begin to shake. I furrowed my eyebrows and observed it for a second more. The shaking then became so great that the cup fell off the table, glass shattering everywhere. "Shit!"

I hopped off my bed, avoiding the glass shards, and bent down. I picked up the sharp pierces carefully and placed them down onto the nightstand.

I dropped the shards on the wooden nightstand and continued picking up the pieces, but I furrowed my eyebrows once I noticed that the glass I had just set down there fell off.

What the hell?

I then began to notice that the nightstand was shaking. Now my bed frame. The entire room was next. I stood up cautiously and backed away from the bed. I opened the door in a hurry and saw Lissandra with tears pouring down her cheeks, sitting idly at the dinner table. "We're all going to die."

"We need to go!" I grabbed her hand and kicked open the front door. We ran down the stairs of the run-down apartment, with me basically dragging her behind.

After we got to the street, I saw it was flooded with people running in one single direction, all desperately yelling for help. They were running in the opposite direction of the port. "F/n, we're going to die either way. We can't outrun titans that are that size!" She pointed behind where the people were running from.

Hundreds of titans. They filled up half of the night sky. The titans were at least over fifty meters tall— maybe even bigger than that. There was something else that was even bigger hidden behind them, but I couldn’t quite make out the shape of it. After taking all of this in, I was completely frozen for a second, but the sound of people screaming brought me back. "I... uh..." I trailed off. How do I react to the fact that I will die here? Could I even escape? Looking at the people that were closest to the titian’s feet, seconds away from getting crushed I realized that death was inevitable.

For me, for Lissandra, for my brother, for my mom, for the civilians on the street, for the people in the blimp, and for Eren, too.

So why was I born into this world? Because my shit dad fucked my mom? Was I born into this world just to be another person who Eren's revenge was taken out on? To be the woman he loved before committing mass genocide? Was I born, simply because I needed to be the mother of his kid?

Maybe I was born so there was a chance of him being stopped. Where did I go wrong? Did I not love him enough? Was I too oblivious to the fact that he was actually plotting to murder millions of people? Or was I born to be crushed under these titan's feet? With how my life was going, I’m guessing it’s my last assumption. What a fucked up world.

 **The wig**. That bright pink wig I wore on the day that Eren bumped into me. I wonder how my life would've turned out if I hadn't worn it. Would fate have brought us together in a different way or would I be spending my last day with my mother and brother right now?

As Lissandra dragged me through the crowd, I seriously wondered why she even bothered to do so. She accepted death barely a minute ago, but now she's fighting for her life? Should I fight for my life too? I glanced behind me, and past all the terrified faces, I saw the foot of a monstrous creature, slowly stepping on people, crushing them.

Eren Jäger. A couple of months ago, I thought you were the best thing that had ever happened to me, but now you are everybody's worst nightmare. I'm even pregnant with your child that won't even see the sun.

I heard the screams of the people behind us become even louder than before. I could barely hear the thud of the footsteps as the titans stepped on the streets of the internment zone because of how loud the shrieks were from the people around us. But I’m sure that if I listened closely for the sound of bones breaking, I might be able to make it out.

So when the titan's finally caught up to us, I stopped running.

I accepted my death.

This world is cruel, and I just happened to be born in it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt like the first chapter rushed their relationship a bit, but i wanted to keep it short. 
> 
> hope you enjoyed it, this was my first time writing angst.


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